A wish for 2022: To live in harmony with my values

Zoe, how do I define my personal values? Evgenios, one of my client-coachees, who works in the sales industry, asked me. I know, he tells me, that values are what I believe are important for my personal and professional life. I read in an article that based on them I will set goals, make decisions, and determine priorities. For example, if family relationships are important to me, but I have to work more than 60 hours a week, there is an imbalance. Also, if I don't like competitiveness while I have chosen a competitive environment, such as sales, I will hardly get satisfaction from this job. At the same time, if I believe that safety is essential while I make high-risk choices, then it is worth rethinking these choices.

Evgenios' desire to (re)define his values made me think again about my own values. After all, this is a dynamic process, since as I move forward in life, some values may change, while others may remain constant. In the early years of working life, success was only about money, while today the balance between professional and personal life is success.

I share some of the questions below.[1] that I utilized. I hope they will make it easier for you to (re)define your personal values and enjoy the journey towards 2022!

1. What are the most important things in my life?[2];

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2. What does each of these offer me?[3];

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3. What really bothers me?[4];

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4. What is the "positive inverse" of what bothers me?[5];

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5. Which of my values go together (group together)?;

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6. What values conflict with each other?[6];

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7. Finally, I remove one value at a time (the least important one) and keep doing so until I can't keep removing anymore. What will remain at the end are my core values.
8. What happens in my personal and/or professional life when I have any of the above?;

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9. What happens in my personal and/or professional life when I don't have any of these?;

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Good luck!

[1] Source: Coaching training program material, Bluesky International, 2010

[2] I let my mind wander (brainstorm) and make a list of things that are important in my life. It could be my family, my garden, my house, my car, my job, vacations, friends, etc.

[3] Now I look at my list and try to think about what each of them offers me. For example: my house can offer me «"safety", the garden can offer me «"creativity"». These are my values.

[4] I let my mind wander again and make a list of things that really bother me. Once I start, it can be hard to stop!

[5] For example: the "positive inverse" of "being stuck in traffic", which bothers me, could be «"freedom"» or the «"adventure"». These are also my values.. 

[6] This can help me understand some of the tensions or conflicts I am experiencing.